I stood outside on the balcony and had a high of 5 seconds (This habit has got to go soon) I breathe in the cool night air and I shiver. But I stand there for at least half an hour until my fingers feel as if I've left it in the freezer. I watch the sun go down and it makes me wonder, what have I been running from... I ponder on questions that I know would not be answered - not in my lifetime at least.
Remember Hey Nostradamus!, the book I'm reading for my English course..I was reading it and I had a pang of thoughts whirl in my mind : "Will you just tell me why it is that the only way we ever seem to take steps forward in life is through pain? Huh? Why is exposure to pain always supposed to make us better people?" Those were my thoughts exactly... I've been having my head in the clouds for a few days too long. This is not like me. And then reality hits and I'm back to running.
You say you know someone. But do you really? Who knows anyone through and through anyway? We don't. We never will. I don't even know myself. We all have our secrets. We all live our lives because what else can we do? Shit happens and so what? You live through it. And one day when you look back... it's just a memory. A fucking memory.
"Mine eyes are full of tears, I cannot see:
And yet salt water blinds them not so much
But they can see a sort of traitors here.
Nay, if Iturn my eyes upon myself,
I find myself a traitor with the rest."
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