Tell me why...

There is something that bothers me. But I don't know how to place it or word it or phrase it or do anything with it really. I've just come to realise that I can't do anything about it. Even though it bugs me like crazy. I act as if nothing is wrong. But truly' there is something very wrong somewhere or maybe everywhere. Would someone explain to me?

Which would drive you more crazy? To know your leaving for success caused the failure of someone else? Or the coming for a new life was just a dream and nothing else. You make a pick and you tell me why. Because I cannot choose.

I want so much to live as if I had JUST the average student's problems but it doesn't seem to be possible.You know, life is very simple for the average student. All you really do is study and sit for a paper. I was at Fright Night yesterday with a bunch of friends for Halloween. Everyone is out to have a good time and you play along. I laughed a lot and screamed even more. There was no joy in my laughter; at least, I didn't feel it though it was heard as an everyday laugh. But there was all the fear in my screams. I may have thought about it as being just for fun. But you realise a lot of things when you reflect.It's like being in a situation where you just want to run. After running for so long, you reflect and decide to face it. But without realising it, you're still running, and faster than ever.

Tell me why...